2012.

In so many ways, my husband and I are complete opposites.  There's the obvious- I mean, c'mon, we have trouble fitting in pictures together because he's so much taller than me!- and then there are a million other things.  I hate tomatoes, he'd eat pizza and spaghetti every day if he could.  He's super science-oriented and I'm just glad that I passed all my science classes in high school and college.  He's calm and steady, I'm crazy and all over the place.  He's also an internal processor.  It took me a while to figure this about him- not because he hides it, but because it's just so foreign to me.  He can actually think through a situation in his brain and come to a logical conclusion- without saying a word!  In serious conversations, I've had to learn how to just sit and be quiet and wait for him to determine what he wants to say.  I'm sure that every internal processor is thinking I'm being Captain Obvious over here, but it really was a profound realization for me because I just don't work like that.


Needless to say, I'm an external processor.  I'm also OCD- which for me means that when my brain is left to its own devices, it tends to go in one of two directions: either absolutely all over the place with no real focus, or obsessing over one [usually unimportant, but at the time feels huge] thought.  I've had to learn to force my brain to focus, to logically think through situations, and not get distracted by thoughts of what I'll wear tomorrow or how far I need to run later or when I need to shower next or that email I need to send or... [get the point? I'm crazy.  Lovable, but crazy.]


I realized in high school that praying can be hard for me for those reasons.  I'd sit down to pray but just wouldn't be able to focus.  It was hard to seriously sit down and process my life with God when He couldn't come over to my house and sit on my bed and talk with me.  I don't remember exactly when or how, but I [thankfully!] learned that having a prayer journal was the perfect solution for me.  Writing is a way for me to externally process without needing to have an audible voice responding to me.  It allows me to quiet my mind and pour out my heart, sorting through different issues, and in the midst of that, connect with Jesus.  I loved writing my monthly prayer letter during my 2 years doing relief work with Cru for the same reason.  It forced me to sit down and think through the last month, to evaluate what God had done in both New Orleans and in me.


When I started this blog [over a year ago? it seems like a lifetime ago that I was living in New Orleans, teaching first grade, and dating Cori] it was for that reason.  A chance to externally process and share my life and heart with friends and family.  Yet somehow I haven't kept up with that.  So that's goal number 1 for 2012.  Yep, no resolutions- sounds too cheesy, to0 much like something I'm going to grit my teeth and do, instead of real life changes that I'm praying God will help me make.  So for 2012, it's goals.  And in no particular order, here they are:


*blog more
*journal more consistently- because that's where my heart really meets with Jesus, and I haven't been good about that.  I miss Him.
*RUN again- consistently!  1/2 marathon?
*invest more in life and people in Tampa... and in the same vein, let go of New Orleans some.  I've been realizing that I'm so stuck on being in love with New Orleans that I haven't let myself love Tampa.  It's just not healthy.  I love NOLA- always have, ALWAYS will- but Tampa is my home now.  I have to remember that.
*spend less time on the internet [really, I'm just fabulous at stalking people online, but what do i really gain from doing that?  I'm not talking about getting off Facebook or anything- just spending my time a bit more wisely.]
*be intentional with Cori- it's so easy to get lazy and just 'hang out' without actually having real, meaningful conversations
*take at least one trip back to NOLA!  [and Virginia too, but that's a given]
*eat healthier.  For the love, this has been my goal for years.  It helps to be away from the amazing food of New Orleans- and from Popeyes, [sigh] but still.  A girl's got to eat more vegetables and less fried food!


I'm sure there's more, but my guess is the only person still reading this is my mom [hi!] so I'll stop.  Here's to making a more consistent appearance in the blog world.